dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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