Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
