i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
