Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
