if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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