He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
