The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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