I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
