oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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