$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
