Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize