I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
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My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
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HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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