apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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