Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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