You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Someone stole a lamp last night.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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