Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
