You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize