Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
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I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
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I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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