before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
