absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
God, I missed his penis.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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