If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
