i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
