Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
