but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I FOUND THE LEGS
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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