I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Randomize