At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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