I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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