Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Dear god my vagina.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
