"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
