What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
