hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
