Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
