hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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