I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
