I feel like I'm in dance class right now
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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