when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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