I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
