I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I can't trust your balls anymore.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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