My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
