I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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