I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
