ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
