My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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