I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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