at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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