PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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