Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
