Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize