I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize