I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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