you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The uberlube is also flammable
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
