I wanna passion pit in your ass
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
