THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
