Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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