Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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