Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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