are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
