I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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